Working with Parents in your Choral Music Classroom, Part 2:
Parent Volunteers are an invaluable resource in our music
classrooms. In part
1 of this series, I wrote about how to get started.
In part 2, I am going to write specifically about three
characters I’ve encountered along the way and how I carefully dealt with the
difficulties that arose so that I could utilize the incredible gifts they were
willing to share with my students.
The key ingredient parent volunteers bring is passion, and
they often have many things to teach us.
We only have to be willing to learn…
…and we have to be assertive and set boundaries.
Mama
Rose from Gypsy
The ultimate stage mom…
I’ve encountered several stage moms during my 25 years teaching
choral music and musical theater.
Their children are the most talented of the group (in their
view…and sometimes in mine.)
They usually come to us with lots of experience and many
talents.
One of the parents wanted to pick our musicals around her
child. Another parent wanted to co-teach
my musical theater class.
So, I let them.
…because I knew they brought lots to the table that would
help my students.
I was also fully aware that I needed to be assertive enough to
carefully set the boundaries when they were needed.
It isn’t always easy to do, but the outcome is worth it.
These involved parents have edited music, altered keys to
songs, built sets, helped students prepare auditions, prepared videos,
organized chorus shirt sales and so much more.
One of the parents actually coordinated other parents to sew 65 pink
dresses and hats for a song from one of our shows.
Does it come with difficulty?
Yes.
As educators, we have to learn to be politely assertive when
the time requires it. Just like we do
with our students, we have to be respectful when we need to have the tough
conversation, and we must respect the free time they are offering to help
enhance the work we are doing.
If you haven’t watched the episode listed in the link above,
you should do it. It’s hilarious.
I suppose Cam is similar to “Mama Rose”.
My “Cam” hid his talents from me during his son’s 6th
grade year.
However, I vaguely remember that he came to the first
musical rehearsal of the year and sat in a prominent position in the room.
He just watched.
At that time, I didn’t know him at all, but I didn’t respond
in any way to his presence other than to say hello and introduce myself. I didn’t feel threatened by his being
there.
But…
That was my way of setting a boundary.
After that, I didn’t see him again for months.
Then, about one week before the show, when the stage
director I had hired was struggling to come up with some costumes, Cam went
home and whipped them up. She gave him
permission, and he seized on it! When
he brought the costumes in the next day, I was astounded. They looked totally professional in every
way.
The next day was “tech” rehearsal. The sound person was struggling with an issue
with microphones, and Cam stepped right in and fixed the issue.
I pulled Cam aside and said, “What is your background and why
have been holding back?”
He was nervous to cross boundaries…probably based on the way
I carefully set them with my physical response on the first day of musical
rehearsals.
At that point, I decided to empower him. He had awesome skill sets that I did not
have, and the experience we can give the students through his expertise
combined with mine is an amazing one.
Fast forward one year later…
I had a new stage director.
She was young…and quite territorial.
Since I’d empowered Cam the previous year, he was ready to
share his talents. I was grateful, but
she was not.
Tough and very tense situation…
I did a lot of listening and gentle guiding for both of
them.
In the end, my stage director relented and let Cam do some
costume work, and she loved the result.
When she was overwhelmed and uninspired with the staging of a couple of
songs, she ended up handing the songs over to him, and he did a magnificent job
bringing them to life.
She was not happy to admit it, but she gave him “props” in
the end. I don’t think they will be life
long friends, but that isn’t what is important.
The essential piece of the puzzle is the experience the
students were able to have on the night of the show.
Over the years, I’ve invited choral conductors into my
classroom to teach my students. Middle
school students aren’t always open to new ideas, so this can be a tricky
situation.
One of my parent volunteers in recent years is a choral
conductor at a local church in our community.
I had heard wonderful things about her teaching, but because of past
experience, I was nervous to ask her to come into my classroom to teach my
students on a day when I was going to be absent even though she’d willingly
volunteered.
I prepared the students the day before…
“There is more than one way to teach singing to
children. My way is one way. There are many other ways that are great. Whatever you are taught by the volunteer
tomorrow, even if you think it’s opposite of what I’ve taught, do it and give
it everything you’ve got.”
I’ve said that many times before to my students when I’d
hired folks to come in, and it didn’t matter.
Fast forward to the day I return to my classroom…
I didn’t get a single complaint from a student when I
allowed this parent volunteer to teach.
In fact, I think they might have thought I should go and
take lessons from her!
…which is super.
I just had to be willing to let go and receive the help.
I was. My students
learned. It was good for everyone.
As teachers, we can’t do everything. We have certain gifts. When we combine those gifts with the gifts of
other people who are passionate about helping their children and who have
enormous talent, the students gain experiences they will always remember.
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