Making Decisions about your life based on the information you have- not the information you want.

My husband and I have been together for 30 years this April.

We were totally meant to be together.  

He was a lot.  

I am a lot.

We are a lot but in totally different ways.

We met on a blind date on April 9, 1995.  

He was 25.  

I had just turned 31 two weeks before.

His employee and I taught group fitness together, and she connected us.  

We've tried to find her to thank her, but she hasn't done social media.

He is in the corporate world.  

I was teaching public school in North Carolina.

We met at Cafe Pasta on that blind date in Greensboro.

Roberta Flack passed away this week, and it made me want to write this blog post because I remember the first time I saw his face....vividly.  Apparently, he had taken an aerobics class of mine a few months before and didn't realize that I would be the person on the blind date.

Not that blind of a date, I guess.  

His head turned right and up.  

After 30 years, I know that look.  He was looking for an escape.  

For 30 years now, we have made all of the hard decisions when life does what it does.  We've helped each other stay on the path toward the life we want together.  

We are doing it right now.

Roberta Flack started as a music teacher who taught middle school.  

She brought the world so many gifts. 

We all face unexpected twists and turns.

My goal is to listen to what the universe/god...whatever you think/believe, is telling you and to make decisions based on that information. 

You know what you know, and you don't know what you don't know.

So, move forward in life based on what you know...the information you have....not the info you THINK you have.  

Just data...real, raw data...

And do it with confidence.  

 

Here- My blog- It’s where I’m home and I where I share the realness.

Three weeks ago, a former student reached out to me on instagram.  

She asked if I had dvds of the musicals we did.  She said she wasn’t the star, and she remembered we had dvds made…but loved it and she would love to see the DVD.  

I shared that during my last year, many of them were uploaded to YouTube and I told her how to see them.  

She watched…here was her response.  

Why we teach…

Here it goes…her response.  

Yes I cannot believe the effort you put in to those looking back. I can’t thank you enough for those years, it really got me into musicals and singing and none of it would have happened without you. My grandma actually got my entire family tickets to see Hamilton when it came to the fox, just because she remembered how much we loved the songs in middle school. Thank you endlessly, you are so amazing 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

My reaction…you are amazing too…because you felt, at a very young age…what really mattered and what was real whether your friends thought so or not.  

You showed up at 7:30 am when there was no grade.  

You did it because it mattered to you.  And you helped your parent and friends show up. 

You’re a leader.  Can’t wait to see what you do.

Working with students and teachers so far in 2025

I just finished three weekends in a row with teachers and students-  Mississippi MMEA keynote speaker for middle school, Louisiana District choir, and Virginia District Choir.  

Working and helping children.... the teachers who teach them and the parents who love them to experience moments of joy singing.

I'm not gonna lie y'all.

I'm an out old gay man (since 1982 when I was 18...here is my story) who books a year in advance to work with middle school children who want to sing after teaching them in public school since 1989.

I am thankful to get to continue to connect with the age group...it's my lane, and I try to stay in it.  

-----

When the election happened in November of 2024, I had already been booked in Mississippi, Louisiana and a rural part of Western VA...

....and I started to question myself.

Do I need to be different when I'm doing these events?

Do I need to filter and not be me?

What if the children go back and tell their parents I said "My husband and I" or that I talked about the AIDS epidemic and how it impacted me if we sing "No Day But Today" from Rent.

Then I realized that the teachers who book me are the ones doing the work and who want me there.  the ones who know that I have been out online forever and ten days watching me share my work...to be in front of the children they teach and love.

Choir classrooms have always been a safe space.

It should still be that way...now and always.  

I forgot it as I questioned myself. 

Let's all remember...

The kids love you because you are being YOU.

They look to us to lead while we are teaching them music because it is their safe space...and because music and singing will give them so much joy when they aren't able to process the world around them, and it will help them stay on this planet and bring good things to the future generations while they are navigating their own paths here on this planet.  

Discussing the song "Popular" from Wicked with your Middle School Students

The incredible popularity of the movie musical "Wicked" has awakened many middle school students with a newfound love of musical theater.  

When you watch them with your students, there are many wonderful themes to discuss in various musicals.  The musical Shrek has themes of acceptance, love beyond appearances, and belonging that are so important for our middle school students.

You can discuss history while watching The Sound of Music, the civil rights movement when watching Hairspray the Musical, and child labor laws while watching Newsies the Musical.  

With the "popularity" of the song "Popular", you can definitely connect with your students and help them begin to think critically about what it means to be Popular, so I created this free lesson to help you discuss the song with your students!

Today-

This was my favorite photo from this weekend.

I took it at 7:40 AM on the day I met these boys in Louisiana.

I got there early because I can't not do it. 

This boy was waiting early...by himself.  

His teacher had made sure he was there.  

He had his smartphone to his ear.

I walked in.  

He didn't know who I was, and it didn't matter.

A teacher walked in very soon after I arrived with several boys who were members of the choir.

She said, "If they act up for you, let me know."

Because I am done with correcting discipline (30 years), I knew that was my cue to exit.

I split.

I stayed within earshot. 

I texted the person who was my person, and she told me to come on in.  

I was shocked.  I hadn't heard the noise even though I was very close to the action.  

Anyway...look at this.

This was the kid who was first and who will probably be first for the rest of his life.  

And here are the photos we took after I'd been able to convince the kids I was the real deal.

They don't care what you think you are.   They care what you are.   

I did my best to prove it.  

These boys sang.  

I love having these opportunities.  As I told these kids today, I am honored to be in front of you, and I want to help you have an experience where you give the audience the "feels".  

They did.

"People forget what you say.  They forget what you do.  They don't forget how you make them feel."

Maya Angelou